Paranoia;
Yilina

aquarius

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  • Thank you

    Designer: SPLASH!
    Base code: heroine Resources: 1 | 2

    Friday, July 10

    Yilina read the cards of Tarots.
    Tarots draw / 2009-07-10


    You at the moment - 17. The Star
    You're hoping you will reach your goals. You guide others to this hope, because there's like a light around you. You are on the way for growth and evolution.

    Environment - 1. The Magician
    Some youth wind blows around you. There's dynamism in the air: a movement is setting out, it's time for revival. Energy and spontaneity will permit you to follow the movement.

    Your guide for acting - 18. Illusion
    Danger doesn't come from outside, but from yourself. Don't be controlled by your emotions, make the balance between reality and illusion. Trust your intuition and open your eyes.

    The response - 8. Justice
    If you admit your mistakes and if you are fair as well towards yourself as towards others, you'll be able to make out things a positive and constructive way.

    Don't forget... - 9. The Wise One
    Time and meditation are useful for those who want to succeed.

    Wednesday, July 1

    Squidward: "Stop doing that you're making me claustrophobic."

    Patrick: "What is claustrophobic?"

    Spongebob: "It means he is afraid of Santa."

    Friday, June 26

    hahah i broke my specs yesterday but whee got 2 new ones today! :D though i don't really fancy them THAT much lah but oh well.

    anyway! this song has been stuck in my head for hours! go listen! it's really nice! :D
    _

    Don't hang up, can we talk?
    So confused, it's like I'm lost
    What went wrong?
    What made you go?
    Don't pretend you don't know
    This is me, I'm unchangeable'

    When did we fall apart?
    Or did you lie from the start?
    When you said it's only you'
    I was blind, such a fool
    Thinking we were unbreakable

    It was you and me against the world
    And you promised me forever more
    Was it something that I said?
    Was it something that I did?
    'Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful'

    I've been told what's done is done'
    To let it go and carry on
    And deep inside I know that's true
    I'm stuck in time, stuck on you
    We were still untouchable

    It was you and me against the world
    And you promised me forever more
    Was it something that I said?
    Was it something that I did?
    'Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful

    Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
    'Cause I'm only dreamin'
    Get out, get out, get out, get out
    Get out of my head now
    Because we're much better all together
    Can't let go!

    It was you and me against the world
    And you promised me forever more
    Was it something that I said?
    Was it something that I did?
    'Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful
    Made me unbeatiful

    - Unbeautiful, Lesley Roy

    Sunday, June 21
    what i did instead of mugging

    aahhh wanted to blog something just now but got hooked onto facebook and now there's not much time left so this shall be a short post!

    rawr taking of pelham 123 isn't as nice as i thought it would be. i thought it was some serial killer show lol. rarh.

    anyway! arcade machines seriously burn money lah! and those machines where you try to pick up toys are SCAAAAAAAAMMMMMMEEEERRRRRRRRRRS. >:( they make that grabber thing soooo loose such that they sway like crazy and after grabbing the toy the whole thing jerks like super hard when it reaches the top and 99% of the time the toy falls off. :( took like 20+ bucks to get one toy, then spent another 30+ but failed to get a second toy. :( RARH. thank goodness i'm not addicted to arcade games lol. but not being able to get another toy even after so many tries is SOOOOOOOOOOO irritating! >: ( stupid machine! hahaha.

    blah. this should be a short post, i shall end here.

    Friday, June 12
    nice.



    Thursday, June 11
    it's over.

    comps today! so fun! :D :D

    omg shooting on an electronic target is DAMN COOL!! :D :D haha got a bit distracted by it at first though, so i kept darkening the screen, then got curious of my score and started to brighten it again. did that for quite a few times before i became lazy and left the screen at mid brightness. but at least adjusting the brightness continually is still better than trying to turn the screen away like what ky did?! LOL. :D

    so yeah i think this was the most enjoyable competition we had so far, so many amusing things to look out for. :) what a great way to end my shooting experience. :) but ah, ending on a high note makes me wanna continue shooting, though i can't anymore, at least not until university if i'm still interested by then. >< .

    rawr can't believe that my standards didn't drop after not training for so long! maybe we shouldn't have trained so hard for nationals lol. minimising training worked for all 3 of us! congrats to ky and hy for shooting our pbs today! :D :D

    aww why must nj change their category so last minute! D: otherwise our chances are quite high rawr! :( oh man i can't stand the suspense, can't wait until saturday! D: shall keep my fingers crossed. :)


    APW'08-09! <333333333 :D

    Monday, June 8

    this place is getting dusty! haha but i'm too lazy/busy to blog these days.

    anyway! went to vivo yesterday to watch angels and demons. :) quite a nice show actually, though i can't really remember much of the movie. D: but the ambigrams were cool! lol and i just wasted three hours of my life creating ambigrams of my name. D: but they are quite cool i think! haha! :D



























































    okay shall end the post now, spent so much time ambigramming i forgot what i wanted to post about already. -.- goodnight!

    Thursday, June 4
    Chapter One.

    All the stars are out tonight it feels as though I might
    Make some sense out of this madness will it turn out right
    Who's to say where the wind will blow

    Time will tell us if we're out of answers when it stops
    Climb back down to the beginning
    Take it from the top
    Who's to say where the wind will blow

    What happens when all your dreams are lying on the ground
    Do you pick up the pieces all around
    And if the world should fall apart hold on to what you know
    Take your chances turn around and go

    All the leaves are turning and the sky fades to gray
    Strange our life coincides with the seasons of today
    Who's to say where the wind will blow

    What happens when everything is lying on the ground
    Do you pick up the pieces all around
    And if the world should fall apart hold on to what you know
    Take your chances turn around and go

    Carry on you say
    Bring the best of today
    All I see is struggling on the way

    Maybe when the sun crashes through the gray
    I can find the strength to make it through the day
    Through the day


    Tuesday, May 5

    Female, born on 27 January 1991 at 5:12 pm in Singapore, Singapore.
    Your sun sign is Aquarius. This is the sign in which the Sun is in your birth chart. Your Ascendant is in Cancer, and your Moon is in Gemini.

    Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Gemini
    This astrological combination of signs confers on you highly developed intellectual powers. You have oratorical skills, although your nature is rather retiring and reserved. Your thoughts are orderly and organized, and you pursue knowledge with great industry, striving always for neatness and perfection in your work. You are kind and good-hearted and mild in manner and gesture. You are inclined to observe rather than participate. In love you are undemonstrative. Though eager to please, you remain somewhat detached. The key to a more harmonious existence lies in lowering some of your reserve; you will fare better in partnerships or association with others.

    Ascendant in Cancer, Moon in the Twelfth House
    At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Cancer was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler the Moon is located in the twelfth house.

    Cancer is the fourth sign of the zodiacal belt and its natives are under the rulership of the Moon. Your life will be full of changes and intermittent periods of activity and relaxation. Your vulnerability to external influences makes you subconsciously imitate the manners and ways of those with whom you relate.

    In many instances, circumstances will require that you play the role of worldliness and sophistication but under the mask there will exist a very sensitive human being who is easily offended, and also very perceptive of the more subtle influences and impressions, as well as of psychic vibrations.

    Cancer gives the tendency to completely retreat when hurt or frightened of a situation. This happens to you often because you tend to interfere in the affairs of others when you are not needed or wanted. Throughout your life, your responses will be emotional rather than rational.
    Cancer also gives a tendency for life to be centered in the home and family; your attachment to your private and domestic habits is so strong that without them you could hardly endure. In love matters, you are emotional and gentle.

    For the difficult aspects we must warn you against becoming overly preoccupied with trivial details of a psychological nature. Another tendency that you have is to flatter and to criticize carelessly, without regard for the other person's feelings.

    Destiny may place you in environments where your natural traits can be best expressed. You will be happier when allowed to be occupied with searching for a person or a thing, though not necessarily in important work.

    Your life possesses an aura of peculiar activities and studies realized in out-of-the-way places.
    You will either live secretively or possess important secrets of another person. Your mind is greatly influenced by the sea of subconsciousness and there is an inborn love for occultism, mystery, and romantic adventures. On the other side, this position may give you a certain lack of stability and firmness in dealing with others.

    Saturn in the Seventh House
    Saturn was found in seventh house at the time of birth. In your dealings with others, you are going to present a very cautious personality and you will work slowly towards the achievement of security. The environment will be a very restricting factor in your life; the same limitations that hinder your relationships with others will emerge in a narrowness of reception to your ideas and emotions. This indicates that the key to more spiritual and material development lies in your response to the several tests destined for you which consist of patiently enduring difficulties through human relationships.

    You should remember that Saturn does not lend a propensity to be demonstrative in an emotional sense. It does, in those individuals with whom you will start a lifelong relationship, give a sense of duty and stability of emotions. Yet you are going to experience some sorrow throughout your life in a relationship. This is mostly going to consist of the several limitations that this state is imposing upon your personal freedom.

    The key to a better integration of your existence lies in the ability to view these obstacles and binds with philosophical resignation.

    Uranus Opposition Ascendant
    Uranus opposition the Ascendant shows that relationships stand in the way of achieving the freedom you want. You attract people who demand their own freedom, even though it means you must curtail yours, and this annoys you.

    A traditional marriage is not for you. You prefer a more liberal association in which the only binding agent is your emotional attraction to your partner. You enjoy a wide circle of friends who share your views and with whom you feel safe and secure. You are drawn to occupations that give you freedom to work in your own way, unconfined by rules and regulations.

    Although you have a mind of your own, you probably are not fully prepared to accept responsibility for your actions.

    Part of your role in life is to help others gain their freedom by urging them to get an education and to learn about the social and political issues that can affect them.

    Sun in the Eighth House
    The Sun was found in your eighth house at the time of birth. This inclines your individuality to be oriented, in one way or another, to the deeper sides of life. Your sexual feelings are long-lasting, intense, and vital. Your inner self seems attracted to unusual matters related to the termination of life-death and its mysteries.

    Traditional astrology indicates that near your middle age a crisis will rear its head in your life. If this period is successfully spanned you can expect a prolonged life with a gradual heightening vitality.

    Financially, there are definite chances for money inherited from either your partner or from another relative.

    Venus in the Eighth House
    Venus was found in your eighth house at the time of birth. This is a favorable position regarding the possibilities of financial gain through businesses owned by your partner or by associates.

    Psychologically, you are going to find many harmonious conditions in your sexual relationships.

    If your inner growth is such that your vital energies are oriented toward spiritual rather than material pleasures, then you will arrive at gratification and happiness through inquiry into the mysteries of life and death.

    You should have some excellent opportunities for progress in your financial and social condition during your middle age or when you finally stabilize your life through marriage or any other type of close relationship.

    Moon in the Twelfth House
    The Moon was in your twelfth house at the time of birth. Secretly, you enjoy a love of romance and adventure that lends a bit of excitement to your daydreaming.

    It is possible that the little popularity that you may enjoy in this life will be from some very reserved and secretive circles where your merits are recognized.

    It can be expected that you will be successful in positions that call for solitude or remote locations.


    _

    oh wow. o_o

    Sunday, May 3

    hmmm i've been wondering a lot about random stuff recently, something i haven't been doing for a long time. there were quite a few times in the past months when i reflected a little about certain things and wanted to type long reflective posts, but never got to do so.

    was clearing some of my work this afternoon when i remembered something i forgot. i can't remember if it was a dream or just a random thought i had last night, all i knew was that there was something i wanted to look for, something that was important to me. but somehow i just couldn't remember what it was that i wanted to look for so badly. tried looking for it in the place where i kept the things i treasure but found nothing that jolted any memory. ended up reading old letters and cards instead, some of which i've already forgotten about for some time.

    reading some of them sure brought lots of memories back, and i had this sudden revelation about things. hmm or maybe not revelation, i think i just finally saw things in a different light.

    i guess that through the years, it's inevitable for some friends, even those who were once dear to you, to step out of your life, leaving only footprints in your heart. it is definitely saddening, especially when you think back on the happy times once spent together, the special moments that were shared, when you read the words they once wrote to you, the promises they once made. it makes you even sadder when you realise how things have changed, and you think about how the people may probably have already forgotten the times they shared with you by now, though you well know that the memories are etched in your heart and that you'd probably never be able to forget them even if you tried to.

    but i guess that's just the way things are. i wouldn't say that i've fully accepted how things turn out the way they do, but i think i'm finally learning to get used to it. after all, the same incidents have happened more than enough times to be considered as coincidences.

    slightly more than a year ago, i had three friends who were dearest to me. three friendships that i treasured with all my heart. sadly, it didn't take long for the three to reduce to one. though that one friendship turned out rocky, i'm glad that even after so many blows, we managed to pull through and maintained it till now. one year ago a friend told me that this friendship wouldn't last. she told me to give up if i was tired, just like she did with hers. she said it would hurt if i let it go, but added that hurting then was better than dragging on and prolonging the sufferance. she told me to look at her, to look at how much easier life became after she let go of the burdened friendship.

    looking back, i'm glad that i didn't give up back then. i do admit though, that there were times that i felt i couldn't take it anymore and was on the verge of letting everything go. but i thought that after so many things we've been through, the friendship would turn out stronger and would probably last a little longer.
    i guess i was wrong.

    sometimes i really do wonder what the word 'friend' means. a real friend (ie not mere acquaintance) should be someone you trust, someone you can count on to tell your troubles, someone you feel happy with. but all these take time to develop, trust, reliance and all. after taking such a long time to build this friendship up, why then is it so easily destroyed? each time a major fight occurs, it seems as though the friendship would just stop there and then. and i don't understand why. is a friendship really something so easily forged and destroyed by the simply saying "let's be (or not be) friends anymore" ? why is this hard earned friendship so easily given up on?

    unless the friendship isn't simple as it seemed to be. unless you weren't really being my friend cus you wanted to be. unless you only did stuff to make me happy and to create a better impression. unless you were only my friend cus you were hoping for something more.

    maybe that's why whenever you think that things wouldn't turn out the way you wanted, you stop wanting to be my friend. i do wonder then, what IS this friendship to you? i have no idea anymore. i'm not even sure if the friend i thought i knew is the friend you are anymore.

    anyway, back to my point about accepting things the way they turn out regardless of whether i like it or not, i guess that's the only thing that can be done. to learn to accept the fact that there are things that can't be changed, to accept them as they happen and not feel bitter about it.

    while i do believe that when people say stuff like "friends forever!" and "i'll always be there for you! :D" etc, they DO mean it, i've also learnt to realise that these words shouldn't be taken to heart as you never really know when the person would stop meaning them. while the things that people say may sometimes be nice and comforting, that's all that they can be - words that are pleasant to the ears. words ARE after all only words. and words can never be trusted.

    hmm maybe that's why i tend to keep my thoughts to myself and not open up to just anyone. maybe it's cus deep inside i know that no one can really understand how i feel, or at least i know that i can't bring myself to trust anyone enough to open up to them. it isn't really something that i can help, i just happen to be like that. i guess that's also the reason why sheena and joelyn commented that i seem to be a mystery, in the sense that even after knowing me for quite some time already, they know that they don't actually know me at all.

    oh well. this post has gotten a tad too long, shall continue whatever thoughts i have the next time round.

    Friday, May 1

    yay greenworks was fun yesterday. :) though i wasn't really following the events that were going on haha but it was fun over all. :D and i think the interaction with the juniors was much more successful yesterday as compared to jts lol. i THINK. :) then again, maybe it's just me cus i wasn't feeling very sociable that day during jts. >< .

    oh yeah and i played threw frisbee with joelyn in the afternoon and now my muscle's aching. D: but it was fun, haven't thrown for a long time. :)

    anyway, i don't see why people are joking about the swine flu at all. just cus it doesn't affect us yet, that doesn't mean that it isn't a serious matter and that you guys can keep making a joke of it?? seriously, i'm pretty turned off by you guys doing that. so many people have died and there are so many more cases of infection, people around the world are all getting anxious and here you are laughing about it. for the people who haven't been following the news about the case,

    "The UN's World Health Organization has raised the alert over swine flu to level five (which happens to be the second highest level) - indicating human-to-human transmission in at least two countries."

    so please stop joking about it. it's not funny.

    Sunday, April 26

    ARGH. today was a good day actually, kinda. though i didn't mug as much as i planned to, did a decent amount of work (i think) and was still feeling rather :) .

    but my heart felt really heavy all of a sudden. :/ i'm really worried now, i feel like crying. :( though it's been a long time since i interacted with you (apart from the few sentences here and there) and i hardly see you every day, you haven't exactly been away before. at least not for such a long time.

    but now that you're really gonna be away, i think i'm really gonna miss you. initially it was probably missing and a little worrying, but now i think i'm going to be really worried, especially with the swine flu now and everything.... haiz. :(

    ARGH (slightly more than) TWO MORE WEEKS. >< .

    _

    anyway i realised that blogging has become quite a chore recently, and i don't seem to be able to blog properly unless i feel a surge of emotions. hmm.

    Monday, April 13

    A B C D E.

    >< .

    Friday, April 10

    AQUARIUS

    They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Aquarians are often felt to be unfathomable when in reality they live almost entirely on the surface. Aquarians will not reveal their innermost feelings no matter how hard others may try to persuade them, simply because they are unable to do so. People of this sign have a reputation for being enigmatic, difficult to understand, and different from everyone else, and cleverly play on this to gain power and attention.They are extremely friendly yet detached at a personal level, sociable in large gatherings, but unsociable at smaller meetings and parties which require greater intimacy. They are helpful and compassionate when involved with charities or group activities.

    Saturday, April 4

    grave of the fireflies! setsuko's really cute and when she cries it really breaks your heart. :( shall not say much cus if you guys wanna know the story, GO WATCH IT YOURSELF. :D the screenshots are just to tempt you all hahaha. btw in the second photo, the two balls are mudballs, though setsuko sees them as riceballs. >< .

    watch! :D : http://www.veoh.com/search/videos/q/hotaru+no+haka#watch%3Dv1353909hKkM637E


    Thursday, April 2

    crushed.


    yep that's how i feel now. in fact, that's what i've been feeling for the entire day. i've no idea what to say, maybe i still can't believe what actually happened. after one whole year of hard work i can't believe it turned out this way.

    i feel totally horrible man. sure i've been disappointed before, in terms of grades and other stuff, but i've never felt like this before, totally crushed.

    and it didn't help that i couldn't show my emotions entirely since my fellow team mate screwed up even more than me. it would have made her feel worse than she already did if i were to appear so upset. haiz but i guess after attempting to appear okay for about an hour or so i couldn't hide my emotions anymore so .

    i've articulated some of my thoughts to some club mates but i don't think they'd truly understand how we feel. the only people who really understand would probably be hy and ky, since we've been through so much together.

    i guess that all i've been doing all these while was deceiving myself, forcing myself to believe that i've no expectations and all. truth is, i have always been pinning high hopes for myself. yes i do have high expectations of myself, not specifically to shooting only. but each time i failed to meet my expectations, i'd know that it was because i didn't work hard enough or something. and since i know that it was due to procrastination or whatever, i'd just blame myself for not working hard enough to achieve my goal, but i'd know that if i had put in enough effort i could have gotten what i wanted.

    but this time it's different. the commitment we made, the struggle we put up during the whole year, all for today and this is what happened. >< . it's probably the first time i've ever really put my heart into something and really worked really hard for it. it's the first time i ever had some confidence in what i was doing.

    gosh.

    i still can't believe it.

    especially since we KNOW that we felt okay today, didn't get too stressed or anything, so why the major screw up? seriously, i'm still finding it difficult to accept. :/

    and i know im not a good team mate either sigh. i knew that i shouldn't have affected ky in any way after i finished since her detail was right after mine. but after i was done, when i saw her, i just couldn't help but break down immediately. >< . somehow seeing her was comforting, and i just let all my emotions out. damn. and after that it was with hy. before the results were out i was still consoling her, but after it came out i could hardly say much to comfort her without choking on my words or tearing cus of my utter disappointment with myself. even after the two of them appeared more cheered and stuff, i remained rather :/ for the rest of the day. haiz i couldn't help it. >< . maybe i just can't take failure. maybe.

    sigh it's been such a long and draining day. i can't exactly remember all the stuff i've thought about throughout the course of the day.

    anyway after that ky hy and i went to macs for lunch and the two of them were screaming their lungs out while walking on the path beside the reservoir. as in seriously SCREAMING. >< . they asked me to join in the screaming session but i was uh. too paiseh. >< .

    even binging at macs didn't manage to bring a single bit of cheer, felt rather full after finishing a pack of fries only. and gosh fries are damn oily lah. :/ and really salty too. haiz i can't remember when was the last time i felt this rotten. i can't seem to find anything that can cheer me even slightly.


    goodnight.

    Friday, March 27

    it's sad how the person who can make you go :) :) :) for a long time is also the one who can hurt you so much.


    ouch.

    Tuesday, March 24

    over!! :D

    by the way! the photos in my previous post were not taken off the net. -.- comments are welcomed! :)

    haiz took me long enough to finally enjoy shooting. >< . not much time left though, if we're not going for nusis then i'd have just a couple more trainings only! :( argh!

    yay i am looking forward to tomorrow. :)

    Monday, March 23










































    Saturday, March 21

    when you walk away i count the steps that you take
    do you see how much i need you right now?

    when you're gone
    the pieces of my heart are missing you
    when you're gone
    the face i came to know is missing too
    when you're gone
    the words i need to hear to always get me through the day
    and make it okay
    i miss you